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"you want me to cut you with a knife? you want me to cut you with a knife?" [ snarling ] my name's mo mandel. thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] -- captions by vitac -- >> july 12, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart.
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the great kid rock will be joining us on the program tonight, and i'm going to go with shark. all right. [cheering and applause] folks, i'm going to start with a problem. we got a problem. apparently america spends more than it takes in. so america needs to figure out a way to become more fiscally responsible. unfortunately while america figures it out, there is a repo man, let's call him "china," that on august 2nd could possibly repossess us. [laughter] the good news is we have a couple of good debt reduction options at our disposal. worse comes to worse, we could for some weird reason arbitrarily change the money we're allowed to be in date, which makes no [bleeped] sense whatsoever, but the bad news is the people in charge of putting together this country-saving plans are the same ones who as of today are currently on the floor of the house of representatives doing this. >> the new incandescent bulb
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looks and works just like the old incandescent bulb. >> so if we don't pass this bill, we might as well turn out the lights. the party is over for the traditional incandescent lightbulb. [laughter and applause] >> jon: i want to make it clear. i just want to make this clear, they aren't fighting about lightbulb standards. they are refighting a lightbulb standards fight that we set new zealand 2007. we're three weeks a i way from having to park our country down the street so china can't find it. [laughter] and these yutses are relit gaiting incandescent v. florescent. we are like children. that is why yesterday once again dad, much to his chagrin, had to come home early from work and give us a talking to about not cleaning our budget. >> we're going to meet every single day until we get this thing resolved. we're going to get this done by august 2nd. we might as well do it now.
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pull off the bandaid. eat our peas. [laughter] >> who keeps peas under their bandaids? [laughter] you know, you get the sense that obama is the first president in history that begins every press conference with a heavy sigh. [laughter] he just comes out and goes... [long sigh] i guess he had no idea having children would be this hard. wait, i'm being told that his peas mention was not a metaphor. during budget negotiations, apparently speaker of the house john boehner was literally not eating his peas. i didn't realize that was the case. so anyway, here's what obama proposed to get us out of this problem. democrats get $1 trillion in upper-class tax increases and corporate loophole closures, and republicans get $3 thril in entitlement and spending cuts because the president is under
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the assumption that the parameters of the negotiation are that democrats want tax increases and republicans want spending cuts, and he wants to do a peas and bandaid combination. [bleeped] i don't know. what's interesting is the republicans believe they're in a completely different negotiation. >> most americans would say a balanced approach is a simple one. the administration gets its debt limit increase and the american people get their spending cuts. and their reforms. >> jon: wait, what? you see the problem? the administration gets its debt limit increase. the arbitrary spending limit, which congress has released ten times in the last ten years. now that's the big give in the negotiation. it's not, all right, let's all chip in and buy a getting for the party. it's buy me a keg and i won't burn your [bleeped] house down. now, why would obama and the democrats get the impression that that's not really a give? >> nobody is talking about not raising the debt ceiling. i haven't heard that discussed by anybody, not in the congress. yeah, nobody is talking about doing that.
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>> jon: [whispering] the leader of the house of representatives. see, the leader of the senate republicans stated on sunday that of course they're going to raise the debt ceiling. now, why would the republicans get the impression that they can play silly politics with something like our credit rating? because in 2006 the president and freshman senator voted against raising the debt ceiling. and why did he do that? >> that was just an example of a new senator, you know, making what is a political vote as opposed to doing what was important for the country, and i'm the first one to acknowledge it. >> jon: hey, man, that was five years ago, man. [laughter] i was a kid. you know how people [bleeped] around in their early 40s. [laughter] but now i'm in my mid-40s. time to grow up. but here's the worst part. the republican insistence on making the debt ceiling their
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give as opposed to increased tax revenues, doesn't appear to be a cynical political ploy. i think they really believe this [bleeped]. >> the president and i do not agree on his view that government needs more revenue through higher taxes on job creators. >> jon: higher taxes on job creators? what are you supposed to do with that? it's like a doctor consulting with a patient who believes strictly in magic. [laughter] broken leg? that's nothing a frog wing and fire dance and some rhinoceros tusk boner powder can't cure. for more we go out to our senior correspondent wyatt cenak. wyatt, john boehner and the republicans appear to be saying the way to shrink the deficit is to cut spending and the only way to raise revenue is to cut taxes. that seems crazy. >> whoa, whoa, whoa, careful throwing around the word "crazy" when you're talking about matters of faith.
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i don't say you're crazy just because you believe bathing in the blood of christian babies will bring about your messiah. >> jon: wyatt, if lowering taxes -- wait, jews don't believe that. that's not what we believe. >> yes, you do. you do. [laughter] >> jon: but you're missing my point. my point is, we're not talking about religion. we're talking about economic policy. >> you're missing the point. to republicans, tax cuts are their religion. republicans are job creationists. i suppose you liberal elites believe jobs just evolve from millions of years of stimulus spending. [applause] >> jon: wyatt, sometimes we have to raise taxes. look, even ronald reagan -- >> peace be upon him. [laughter] >> jon: he raised taxes in
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1982 by nearly $100 billion in a recession. if you can never raise taxes and ronald reagan -- >> peace be upon him. [laughter] >> jon: really? >> i don't make the rules, jon. jon >> jon: look. if even that guy raised taxes, doesn't that at least challenge the current republican belief system? >> cynics like you are always looking for doctrinal contradictions. >> jon: the rich now have way more wealth and income even since the 80s. republicans think tax cuts raise revenue, why not cut taxes to zero. >> jon, let me tell you parable. a holy man was in the desert and the multitudes came and said, we have no food. he said, here are five loaves and two fishes and so it was that the holy man and one of his friends sat down and ate a [bleeped] load of fish sandwiches. [laughter] >> jon: what about...
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[applause] what about the multitudes? >> what about 'em? are you suggesting that socialist redistribution of fish and bread? why punish the most successful fisherman? >> jon: look, i don't think i understand this parable's message. how do the multitudes eat? >> that's not the holy man's problem. am i my brother's keeper? >> jon: that's a biblical saying. cain said that when he's trying to get away with murdering his brother. >> you call it murder. i call it the market regulating the brother supply. [applause] >> jon: wyatt cenak, every [cheering and applause]
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>> jon: welcome back. now, it's been... it's been over one year since arizona governor jan brewer signed sb-1070, a controversial bill that some call tantamount to racial profiling with some unintended consequences. >> baseball, nearly 30% hispanic, is a flash point for protest. baseball's all-star game scheduled for phoenix next summer may hang in the balance. >> jon: that's the only way how we decide who gets homefield advantage in the world series, unless someone, you know, phillips a quarter. anyway, for more on the impact of sb-1070 on the all-star game,
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we go to chase field in arizona and senior latino correspondent al madrigal. al? [cheering and applause] >> what a night for baseball, jon. history in the making. a little hot. could be that it's 127 degrees in arizona, or i got a case of baseball fever. [chuckling] [laughter] >> jon: al, you're supposed to be covering the protests about the law in arizona, not enjoying the game. i thought the latino community was furious about this? >> oh, yes. right. they're furious, muy furiouso. >> jon: al russia there protests? are you covering the protests? >> sure. yes, it's... oh, come on, jon. it's baseball, man. i mean, i'd protest if it was any other sport, but we love
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baseball. it's the only sport a latino can dream of playing in america. we're too short for basketball. we're too small for football, too smart to scrap on a pair of ice skates and let a canadian beat the [bleeped] out of us. [applause] so besides dog whispering, baseball is allah tinos have left. >> jon: latinos love baseball and dog whispering so much they'll look past any injustice done to them? >> are you familiar with the battle of chavez ravine? during the 1950s, 3,800 mexican immigrants were taken from their homes in los angeles so the newly relocated dodgers could have a stadium. guess what they call those people today? season ticket holders. [laughter] >> jon: that is incredible. >> hold on a second.
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hey! >> jon: so adrian gonzalez is doing well and he doesn't want to misadvertise game, is that it? [laughter] >> i don't even know what you're talking about, man. [laughter] >> jon: i'm talking about how you called the vendor for a beer and then... and then just apparently took it from some [bleeped] guy who was standing around. anyway... >> i didn't realize, sorry, jon, i didn't realize this guy was right here. [laughter] >> jon: last year, al, you were... last year... [laughter] last year... waited. this is really important. [laughter] last year you were really angry about this issue. roll the tape. >> and that's why my mystery bore of 2010 is "sex in the city 2." if i may, jon, just a quick
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personal message for major league baseball commissioner bud selig, arizona's law is racist and having the all-star game there is total bull [bleeped]. >> jon: all right. thank you, al. how do you explain, that al? >> i don't know. i liked the first "sex in the city." i just thought the second was unnecessary. why mess with perfection. >> jon: so al, there will be zero acknowledgement of sb-1070 in tonight's all-star game? >> i wouldn't say that. players are showing solidarity. beneath each eye, players have decided to wear thing black marks symbolizing the dark turn in arizona politics. >> jon: al, players do that. >> they're also going to grab their balls and spit. >> jon: i believer they do that, as well. >> no, but this time they're going to mean it. [laughter] look, you can't keep latinos from playing baseball. just like the ghost from the cornfield in that movie with
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kevin costner said, "if you build it, they will come." and by "they," i mean hordes of latinos. >> jon: thank you, al. al madrigal, everybody. we'll be right back. [cheering and applause]
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>> jon: my guest tonight, a musician. his latest c.d. is "born free" just went platinum. he's also currently on his born-free tour. please welcome kid rock. [cheering and applause] ♪ i was born free i was born free ♪ >> jon: nice to see you. >> nice to be on the show. >> jon: you know, you're
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playing in jersey tonight. >> uh-huh. >> jon: really? that's for new jersey? [cheering and applause] we live in the tri-state area. you hear about new jersey every day. [laughter] the concert has already happened. how did it go? >> tough question. >> jon: you play... is this a good place you like playing? >> jersey, they're nuts. >> jon: the best, right. >> boston, jersey, just completely out of their minds. drinking all day, parking lots, just want to break stuff and go nuts. >> jon: you know what's sad about that? we do that even when there are no concerts. [laughter] it's our lives. i'm going to out you tonight. and you're not going to like this. >> out me? >> jon: i'm going to out you. kid rock, he has his own beer, bad ass beer. >> bad ass.
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helping the economy. >> jon: helping the economy. you got your party music. but this is what i learned about kid rock when he did the rally with us in washington. you, sir, are a professional. yeah, that's right. how do you feel about that? >> don't blow my street cred. >> dealing with you was a pleasure. >> it's so much easier. can we just explain for people. you think you have your publicists call each other. we're trying to put this together. he calls me up asks me to do it. i called him up, bang, done. >> jon: and it was done, but he would call me and be like, you're going to need to put this on a dx format with a 550. i'm going to get ci to lay down some track on green screen. and i'm like, you're not kid rock, you're nerd rock. your knowledge of all the technical aspects of it, i had no idea. how did you develop that kind of expertise in producing as well as the music? >> i used to sweep floors in a
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recording studio when i started. >> jon: really? >> i started sweeping floors. they let me into the back room at midnight, a little gremlin. i made my own music on the side. that's where i got going and learned about all that stuff. >> jon: and you play every instrument. >> i play them. ask a musician, they're like, yeah, i can entertain you with them. >> jon: so you don't even... to you it's just second nature now. you don't realize. like if you had your druthers, would it be... would you be holed up with all that... with just all your instruments and the technical equipment? is that fun for you or is it the stage? >> it would be just a guitar, a guitar and a campfire. that's fun. beer helps. a couple buddies around. i love that. >> jon: you're a hippie? [laughter] a guitar and a campfire.
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>> it is a little different than i'm making it sound. >> jon: i manning it's very nice, you and a boy scout troop. i don't know what the hell is going on now. so you don't... even after all this time, the real pleasure is simple sitting and playing songs and hanging out. >> i really like every aspect of it. i like recording. i like playing live. i live and breath music. that's what i do. >> and sheryl crow is on tour with you right now, right? she's hanging out. >> i can tell you about that. having to be the responsible one on tour every night, it's like... [laughter] i'm talking show's over, here comes cheryl with the whisky, tvs out of the hotel room, jon. music is on ten. i'm like, keep it down, the kids are sleeping. >> jon: how do you keep her in check? >> i've pretty much given up all hope. >> jon: your kid is like...
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>> 18. >> jon: and he's going off to college now. >> i know. i'm going to have to get a d.n.a. test or something. he's a great kid. >> jon: you're a very responsible young man. you have a nice family. it's really nice to see you and get to know you at that rally. i really enjoyed it. it was terrific. where are you off to now, doing more stuff for detroit? >> trying to do everything we can. it's a tough town, but tough towns make tough people. there's a lot of people that care so much about that city, especially people that are in and from around. there when you get that much human nature, the force of human nature and the people that care about something think it's got a real shot. >> jon: you're out there. your foundation is doing work out there and you're bringing it back? >> got a foundation with no overhead. i don't have silly golf tournaments to raise money or none of that stuff. >> jon: it's just giving money out to people. >> basically. >> jon: we have unmasked and outed kid rock tonight as a responsible, caring, diligent, professional parent.
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[audience reacts] and, and in the process, we've totally [bleeped] your career. >> that's what i'm saying. career is over. >> jon: not at all. great to see you, man. >> thanks for having me on. >> come back and see us again some time when you're putting together anything excited we need to know about. >> no, pretty much just wanted to come on the show for the people that really hate me. some people just don't like anything about me. i'm still here. can i tell you something? >> jon: he's a very pleasant man. fun at parties. that is correct, as well. "born free" is in the stores right now. you can catch kid rock on tour. you can buy bad ass beer. you can only buy it in singles, though, unfortunately. >> only in michigan. >> jon: only in michigan and only in singles. good to see you.
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kid rock. [cheering and applause] [cheerin]
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>> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. another guest will be here. [laughter] i don't... i can't think of the name. here it is, your moment of zen. >> she's actually very talented.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Comedy Central July 13, 2011 1:00pm-1:30pm PDT

News/Business. (2011) (CC)

TOPIC FREQUENCY Arizona 5, Wyatt 3, Al 3, Obama 3, Michigan 2, Jon 2, John Boehner 2, China 2, Jon Stewart 2, Jan Brewer 1, Wyatt Cenak 1, Los Angeles 1, New York 1, New Zealand 1, Mo Mandel 1, Cheryl 1, Phoenix 1, Bud Selig 1, Sheryl Crow 1, Kevin Costner 1
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on 7/13/2011